


Love and Lunacy

by VR_Trakowski



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, He survived, how did ben survive? who cares?, then it got all FLUFFY, this was supposed to be humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:35:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26664520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VR_Trakowski/pseuds/VR_Trakowski
Summary: A trip to IX3244-A encounters an unexpected hiccup.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	Love and Lunacy

**Author's Note:**

> My muse is lying on the floor giggling to herself. 
> 
> For J.

C-3PO liked to think of himself as a patient droid. He had seen many, many things in his years of service; he had experienced any number of indignities and untold amounts of damage, caught in the whirl of drama and danger that surrounded General Leia’s family. And, he thought proudly, they had served well - both he and Artoo. 

Maker willing, they would serve for many years to come. 

But there were some things that simply would not stand. “I’m sorry, Master Ben, but I cannot obey.” 

General Leia’s only child, once lost and now found again, wore the stubborn expression C-3PO remembered well from Ben’s childhood. “Why the hell not?” 

Next to Ben, as always, stood Mistress Rey; she looked amused. “It’s just a visit to a peaceful moon, Threepio, you’ve been there before.” 

“Peaceful? Hardly.” Not for the first time, C-3PO wished he could shake his head. “Constant violence, from beginning to end. Why, Artoo was nearly trodden flat by a walker.” 

_I was **not** ,_ R2-D2 beeped, indignant. 

C-3PO ignored him. “As I told General Solo at the time, it’s against my programming to impersonate a deity. I understand that you wish to see the site of the decisive last battle of the Rebellion, Mistress Rey, but you will have to do it without me.” 

Master Ben opened his mouth, but Mistress Rey slid her arm through his. “We can manage, can’t we? You said you understood the Ewoks.” 

Master Ben pinched the bridge of his nose. “A little. But those visits were a long time ago.” 

She smiled up at him, and C-3PO saw Master Ben’s face soften the way it always did when he looked at her. “Just think of it as an opportunity to practice your diplomacy.” 

_As a roast,_ Artoo commented, which made Mistress Rey snicker. 

“All right,” Master Ben said, pointing at them. “You two can stay on the ship and out of trouble.” 

“Gladly,” C-3PO returned. Mistress Rey grinned at him and tugged until Master Ben followed her out of the lounge towards the cockpit. 

Artoo trilled. _Someday we should go to the crappy planet where **I’m** a deity._

C-3PO rested a hand on his dome. “Hush, they might hear you.” 

* * *

“Oh, you think this is _funny_ , do you?” 

Ben knew his face was red, but under the circumstances that was understandable. The fact that Rey’s was shading towards purple as she howled with laughter was only a minor comfort. 

“It’s _hilarious_ ,” she gasped, and some part of him couldn’t help but be charmed by her glee, even under the irritation. 

“It’s _embarrassing_.” Ben knew he was on the point of whining, but really, he didn’t think anyone could blame him. The trap had been expertly concealed, and there hadn’t been the least hint of danger; the fact that both of them were dangling upside down, too snagged in vines to do more than wiggle - or laugh - was just _silly_. “We’re better than this.” 

“Not today, we’re not.” Rey was still laughing, and he reached out with the Force to levitate her where she hung; her face was dark enough that he was afraid she was going to pass out. “Come on, Ben, where’s your humility?” 

“Yes, yes. The ex-Supreme Leader of the galaxy and the last of the Jedi, brought low by a simple snare trap - “ 

“ _High_ , actually - ” Rey squeaked, and whooped again. 

Ben sighed, and bit back the smile that wanted to spread over his face. The trip to the Sanctuary Moon was supposed to be a break, a bit of private time and a look at a piece of Rebellion history that Rey was interested in - though Ben thought that the enormous trees were half the attraction for her. 

The fact that they were now some fifteen feet in the air, hopelessly snagged by _plant matter_ , just made the whole situation that much more absurd. 

He wasn’t worried. Physically they might be unable to move, but with the powers they both possessed, getting free would be a snap - as soon as Rey calmed down enough to concentrate. 

Which was all well and good, until a fierce shout made them look down...into a thicket of spears, all pointed in their direction. The little warriors holding them looked quite ready to use them - and more concerning, they also looked ready to use the two ancient blasters that the party carried. 

Rey’s laughter stopped abruptly. Ben eyed the Ewoks warily; spears were easy to knock aside, but blaster bolts required more skill. 

“This wasn’t how I planned on introducing you,” he murmured. 

Rey’s gaze downward was sharp. “Are we threats, or dinner?” 

“Both, probably.” It had been a very long time since Ben had visited this moon, and he didn’t recognize any of the faces frowning up at them. Leia had told him, years ago, that the shifting alliances among the Ewok tribes meant that one could never be sure whose territory one was visiting; but Ben had planned on _practicing his diplomacy_ standing upright and unruffled, not dangling in midair. He took a deep breath and tried to summon his mother’s cool confidence. 

“Greetings,” he began. “We’re looking for the Bright Tree tribe - “ 

Growls interrupted him. Rey squinted down at the warriors. “Do they not understand, or do they just not like what you’re saying?” 

“No idea.” Ben raised his voice again. “We’re with the Alliance - “ 

More growls, and spears were lifted threateningly, though Ben wasn’t sure that the Ewoks could throw high enough to stab them. Those blasters worried him more. 

“Maybe they’re First Order sympathizers,” Rey muttered, not entirely sarcastically. “Ben, if we can just stretch the vines a bit we can climb up into the trees - “ 

“They _live_ in the trees,” Ben murmured back. “There’s probably a dozen more up in the canopy right now.” 

The Ewoks were talking amongst themselves, though most of them were keeping a wary eye upward. Two of them produced long knives, fingering the edges as if to check the sharpness. 

“Those look like skinning blades,” Rey said uneasily. 

_All right, that’s it._ There were many things Ben regretted about his past, but he was quite happy with his present, and he had _no_ intention of ending his career in a stew - and even less of allowing Rey to come to harm. He had one more card to play; it was going to utterly _ruin_ his dignity, but frankly there wasn’t much of that left at the moment. 

Ben took as deep a breath as he could manage, called Uncle Chewie’s lessons to mind - Shyriiwook grammar was always a bit tricky - and _bellowed_. 

_“In the name of Chewbacca of Kashyyyk, great warrior of the Battle of the Metal Moon, I greet you!”_

The effect was gratifying. The warriors broke into excited chatter, and laid down their spears; the blades were put to use severing the vines and the prisoners were lowered gently to the ground, unharmed. 

And Ben still had to help Rey to her feet, because she was laughing hard enough to put her earlier paroxysms to shame. 

“Your... _accent_...” she managed, wheezing. 

Ben rolled his eyes. 

* * *

They were feted royally in the tree village that evening, as befit associates of the gods and the legendary warrior Chewbacca. Rey listened with fascination as Ben translated the elders’ tales of the great battle a generation before, and she handled the relics of it with proper awe and respect. 

Ben watched her with a smile he had no desire to hide. His long-ago visits to the Sanctuary Moon was one of the few untainted memories of his childhood, and though a small part of him missed being able to look the Ewoks in the eye, it was good to know that he was still welcome among them - now that they knew who he was. 

But it was better still to see Rey enjoying herself, unselfconsciously mouthing the Ewok phrases as she tried to learn a few simple sentences. The tribe seemed as charmed by her as they had been by Leia, crowding around to lean against her and run small fingers through her hair. Her own fingers were working on a battered mechanism the same vintage as the blasters, restoring it with the same casual ease she used to repair ships, droids, and anything else that came her way. 

Like ex-Supreme Leaders. 

When she finished and handed the device back to its owner, there were cheers and claps, and the shaman handed around a skin of something potent enough to make Ben’s eyes water when he took a sip. 

The bench he was sitting on was too small - he was practically sitting on the floor; he kept knocking his head on things; and he still wasn’t sure what exactly they’d had for dinner (Ben just hoped it hadn’t been sentient). But warm little hands were patting him as well, and as he passed the skin along two minuscule forms, fur still cloud-soft with babyhood, climbed into his lap to cuddle. 

He wrapped his arms around them, watching Rey laugh as she struggled with her new phrases, and was content. 


End file.
